Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
