just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
