Pappa wants mamma naked
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
how does that bad decision feel?
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