she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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