omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
