READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
