tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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