im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
