just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
