I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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