Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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