My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
