that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
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Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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