***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
His nipple licking is glorious
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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