he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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