I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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