At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Hippo gnu deer
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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