Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
