I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize