yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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