I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
