As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
