I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
