just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
