I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
