I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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