Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Randomize
