I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i drank out of a bidet.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
