no you cant smoke seaweed
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
