Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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