Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
