so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
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He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.