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• (214): View more from Texas

  Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's almost as awesome as vicodin.

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you

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• (458): View more from Oregon

  I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.

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  You are my idol.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I deem it safe for us to drink together again.

  (1-928): View more from Arizona

  They dropped the charges?

  (928): View more from Arizona

  Yeppers. Come drink beers.

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• (830): View more from Texas

  I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time

  (830): View more from Texas

  well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (323): View more from California

  All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again

  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.

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