Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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  (410): so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero http://tfl.nu/4z5t
  Replies (71) Good night (40095) Bad night (1826)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking

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  (732): I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking http://tfl.nu/678a
  Replies (14) Good night (782) Bad night (2215)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

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  (269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option. http://tfl.nu/dknj
  Replies (22) Good night (6436) Bad night (1236)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.

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  (626): The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with. http://tfl.nu/h0cz
  Replies (8) Good night (4076) Bad night (1003)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.

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  (763): The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet. http://tfl.nu/fwq9
  Replies (20) Good night (6629) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.

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  (970): I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment. http://tfl.nu/cc9w
  Replies (9) Good night (3868) Bad night (1255)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.

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  (904): now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis. http://tfl.nu/g1kt
  Replies (9) Good night (1467) Bad night (2433)
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  (+45): View more from Denmark

  Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.

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  (+45): Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired. http://tfl.nu/rbaa
  Replies (9) Good night (5171) Bad night (1154)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."

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  (601): You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka." http://tfl.nu/g6um
  Replies (6) Good night (3497) Bad night (880)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse

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  (+61): Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse http://tfl.nu/nf0w
  Replies (3) Good night (1321) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero

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  (571): Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero http://tfl.nu/k0h6
  Replies (9) Good night (1576) Bad night (507)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring

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  (201): hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring http://tfl.nu/45rz
  Replies (3) Good night (579) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner

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  (516): I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner http://tfl.nu/acki
  Replies (0) Good night (426) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I spy something regrettable...

  (716): View more from New York

  Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.

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  (516): I spy something regrettable... (716): Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it. http://tfl.nu/hlqj
  Replies (1) Good night (584) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  What the hell happened to my hand?

  (646): View more from New York

  Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".

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  (917): What the hell happened to my hand? (646): Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over". http://tfl.nu/gfxv
  Replies (0) Good night (505) Bad night (220)

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