Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day

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(609): i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day http://tfl.nu/6lmw

Replies (5) Good night (718) Bad night (1394)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?

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(218): Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew? http://tfl.nu/rj2z

Replies (22) Good night (2790) Bad night (698)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

You guys are open that late?

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(703): Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges." (610): You guys are open that late? http://tfl.nu/gb5t

Replies (17) Good night (1029) Bad night (3963)
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(805): View more from California

An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.

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(805): An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice. http://tfl.nu/s7hm

Replies (19) Good night (4643) Bad night (989)
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(514): View more from Quebec

i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"

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(514): i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon" http://tfl.nu/hj7f

Replies (25) Good night (1129) Bad night (5577)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.

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(715): I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too. http://tfl.nu/0d25

Replies (38) Good night (1173) Bad night (4294)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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(609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym

Replies (37) Good night (5263) Bad night (866)
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(330): View more from Ohio

just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.

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(330): just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this. http://tfl.nu/6gzz

Replies (10) Good night (5987) Bad night (1010)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?

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(860): what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday? http://tfl.nu/71tj

Replies (32) Good night (4839) Bad night (1031)
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(914): View more from New York

still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.

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(914): still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay. http://tfl.nu/4bqn

Replies (12) Good night (1683) Bad night (4592)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop

(213): View more from California

so that means christmas in space?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi

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(781): my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop (213): so that means christmas in space? (781): imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi http://tfl.nu/5ssx

Replies (14) Good night (7124) Bad night (1328)
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(515): View more from Iowa

Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?

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(515): Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch? http://tfl.nu/hxz0

Replies (21) Good night (2595) Bad night (992)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?

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(773): Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT? http://tfl.nu/k7sq

Replies (8) Good night (687) Bad night (392)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.

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(920): So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot. http://tfl.nu/mxqc

Replies (5) Good night (379) Bad night (1156)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.

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(479): Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him? (1-479): You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring. http://tfl.nu/rmw0

Replies (1) Good night (719) Bad night (206)

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