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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (972): View more from Texas

  He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.

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• (979): View more from Texas

  For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.

  (512): View more from Texas

  You. Win. At. Life.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.

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