Where did you get a picture of my penis
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
being pregnant is like rehab
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
