Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!

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  (646): Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it! http://tfl.nu/tttx
  Replies (2) Good night (1016) Bad night (657)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.

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  (540): This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster. http://tfl.nu/5per
  Replies (16) Good night (729) Bad night (2793)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.

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  (401): The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster. http://tfl.nu/0ncd
  Replies (16) Good night (1196) Bad night (5053)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  no one should ever give us hovercrafts

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  (847): no one should ever give us hovercrafts http://tfl.nu/uqn3
  Replies (25) Good night (4613) Bad night (848)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

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  (860): Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture. http://tfl.nu/0rjo
  Replies (18) Good night (4619) Bad night (1295)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store

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  (303): Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store http://tfl.nu/jpa2
  Replies (19) Good night (5348) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.

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  (304): I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad. http://tfl.nu/mnuf
  Replies (4) Good night (1373) Bad night (781)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.

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  (740): Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow. http://tfl.nu/oilf
  Replies (11) Good night (1515) Bad night (1196)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.

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  (914): I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed. http://tfl.nu/j5xb
  Replies (6) Good night (1538) Bad night (602)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (723) Bad night (1395)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning

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  (630): We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning http://tfl.nu/kk2v
  Replies (6) Good night (1336) Bad night (543)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?

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  (520): Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent? http://tfl.nu/den8
  Replies (3) Good night (422) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way

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  (215): i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way http://tfl.nu/6bcn
  Replies (2) Good night (627) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.

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  (435): It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart. http://tfl.nu/un8o
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (196)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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  (616): His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma http://tfl.nu/spx4
  Replies (2) Good night (372) Bad night (110)

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