I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
