he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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