how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
