Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize