Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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