Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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