thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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