You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
