Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
