I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
