The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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