How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
