if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
