Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
