I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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