I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
