i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
