Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
