you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
