Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
