Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
