just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize