the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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