If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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